I'm one of those people that find time to code while parenting 2 young children. And yes, any time spent coding before the kids' bedtime comes with the unwelcome twinge of guilt saying "I should be playing with the kids," and therefore infrequently occurs.
The "amount of passion for the craft" sounds like a noble endeavor, but what it _really_ means is "willingness to sacrifice sleep, friends, other hobbies, and/or time with your family".
I LOVE writing code. I'd be doing it even if I wasn't getting paid. I'm sure I'll be hacking interactive art piece for my grandkids when I'm retired. But if you stand back and look at it objectively, me writing a new JS framework or embedded system library, even if they are incredible, pales in comparison to actually spending time with the ones you love. In other words, if your passion for the craft truly exceeds your passion for your family, you've clearly made some poor decisions in life.
Indeed! Time with my daughter is way more valuable to me as a human being than almost anything else. If there was a way to be paid to spend time with her I'd take it in a heart beat. She is way more fun than a computer.
That being said I do feel better about myself when I am the most proud of my work.
I just don't see the reason why it has to dominate my life. My work is important but it shouldn't be taking so much time from my life that I develop health and mental problems from it. And my family shouldn't suffer my absence simply because I want to be great at what I do.
I like other things too. Literature. Poetry. Theater. The reasons why we live. It's hard to enjoy those things when all you can think about is your work.
My ideal workplace is one that embraces the creative flow of energy. Sometimes I'm all about putting my nose to the grindstone and building something. Other times I go through periods of reflection and personal development and learn from what I have built.
"The "amount of passion for the craft" sounds like a noble endeavor, but what it _really_ means is "willingness to sacrifice sleep, friends, other hobbies, and/or time with your family"." - that is true, but you equally interpreted to make it sound bad. Time spent with family means sacrificing time spent with friends or time spent on "other hobbies" (unless of course you have some sort of alliance of
people who all share same hobbies and hang out together with whole families).
"In other words, if your passion for the craft truly exceeds your passion for your family, you've clearly made some poor decisions in life." - I guess Nikola Tesla made a poor life decision?
Tesla never married, claiming that his chastity was very helpful to his scientific abilities.[9]:33 However, toward the end of his life, he told a reporter, "Sometimes I feel that by not marrying, I made too great a sacrifice to my work ..."
And even though that so perfectly answers your question, it doesn't address my real point, which is that you made poor life decisions if you chose to have a family and value your work more than them. Tesla never had a family and therefore doesn't fit the context of my statement.
Not losing any sleep due to the lost hobby hours due to kids. Guilt for working, watching football or playing video games instead of watching my girls put on a dancing/singing show in the front yard?... massive.
The Tesla comment is a trap. Many, many people have chosen their work over kids, and some of those people created wonderfully awesome things. But you're not Tesla, and if Tesla had kids (no idea if he did) I'm sure they were probably missing Dad a bit if he devoted his entire life to his work (again no idea if he did, just using the example provided)
Honestly, some people don't see their kids as their #1 priority, just another priority in a long list and that's okay. I don't see this as wrong, but it's not the path I wish for my life or my children. It's also worth noting that for some it's not a choice, we're all discussing here today a problem for the (more than) adequately employed middle class.
The "amount of passion for the craft" sounds like a noble endeavor, but what it _really_ means is "willingness to sacrifice sleep, friends, other hobbies, and/or time with your family".
I LOVE writing code. I'd be doing it even if I wasn't getting paid. I'm sure I'll be hacking interactive art piece for my grandkids when I'm retired. But if you stand back and look at it objectively, me writing a new JS framework or embedded system library, even if they are incredible, pales in comparison to actually spending time with the ones you love. In other words, if your passion for the craft truly exceeds your passion for your family, you've clearly made some poor decisions in life.