Hacker Newsnew | past | comments | ask | show | jobs | submitlogin

Speaking of which, I felt [1] was a rather interesting article on that. Multiple people are interviewed and their experiences differ, but stuff like this really stands out, and especially that last paragraph is pretty relevant here:

Prior to my transition, I was an outspoken radical feminist. I spoke up often, loudly and with confidence. I was encouraged to speak up. I was given awards for my efforts, literally — it was like, “Oh, yeah, speak up, speak out.” When I speak up now, I am often given the direct or indirect message that I am “mansplaining,” “taking up too much space” or “asserting my white male heterosexual privilege.” Never mind that I am a first-generation Mexican American, a transsexual man, and married to the same woman I was with prior to my transition.

I find the assertion that I am now unable to speak out on issues I find important offensive and I refuse to allow anyone to silence me. My ability to empathize has grown exponentially, because I now factor men into my thinking and feeling about situations. Prior to my transition, I rarely considered how men experienced life or what they thought, wanted or liked about their lives. I have learned so much about the lives of men through my friendships with men

What continues to strike me is the significant reduction in friendliness and kindness now extended to me in public spaces. It now feels as though I am on my own: No one, outside of family and close friends, is paying any attention to my well-being.

I can recall a moment where this difference hit home. A couple of years into my medical gender transition, I was traveling on a public bus early one weekend morning. There were six people on the bus, including me. One was a woman. She was talking on a mobile phone very loudly and remarked that “men are such a–holes.” I immediately looked up at her and then around at the other men. Not one had lifted his head to look at the woman or anyone else. The woman saw me look at her and then commented to the person she was speaking with about “some a–hole on the bus right now looking at me.” I was stunned, because I recall being in similar situations, but in the reverse, many times: A man would say or do something deemed obnoxious or offensive, and I would find solidarity with the women around me as we made eye contact, rolled our eyes and maybe even commented out loud on the situation. I’m not sure I understand why the men did not respond, but it made a lasting impression on me.

[1]: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/local/wp/2018/07/20/feat...



This isn't even new, what is surprising is how society refuses to listen to Men. In 2006 Norah Vincent a woman, pretended to be a man for 12 months and wrote a book about her experience called Self Made Man, see some interviews about the book[1][2]

The mental strain of maintaining a false identity during the making of Self-Made Man ultimately caused a depressive breakdown, leading Vincent to admit herself to a locked psychiatric facility

[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-uv8gT9Kxw

[2] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWkgCEPFmXo


>I’m not sure I understand why the men did not respond, but it made a lasting impression on me.

Because male intra-gender solidarity is viewed as the first step to neo-Nazism, so we grin and bear it in mixed company.


To be fair, it often is, but we don't have to let it be.


Wonder how much of this is built in.

Robert Sapolsky studies baboons, and I heard him describe this same behavior.

Males would were in constant competition, and if one tripped up in any way, the others jumped him.

Females would protect each other, form a group to help each other. If one tripped up, the others would come to their aid.




Guidelines | FAQ | Lists | API | Security | Legal | Apply to YC | Contact

Search: