Family members have babysat my kids, and this is a mistake I see all the time. If you tell kids not to do something, always tell them why. And be honest about it. It’s kids’ job to learn about the world, and it’s your job as a parent to teach them about it.
That's not a dumb rule, that's a bad explanation of a rule that may in fact be good.
"You can't stay up until midnight because I said so."
Few parents would argue that not letting them stay up until midnight is a dumb rule. But the example certainly has a bad explanation.
The problem with this entire thread is that without concrete examples everyone is imagining their own which, not coincidentally, happen to match their already existing world view.
That’s true, I guess I think bad explanations of good rules are insidious: they alienate kids and create an us-vs-them mentality. If parents stay up late but don’t allow their kids to stay up late, it seems like parents are entitled and even a five year old can sense entitlement.
Here’s the thing, though: it’s true that going to bed early is a good rule, and it’s also true that parents feel entitled; that their rules apply to their kids but not them. That’s one reason kids hate their parents - they often deserve it!
Or “stop it,” out of frustration.
Family members have babysat my kids, and this is a mistake I see all the time. If you tell kids not to do something, always tell them why. And be honest about it. It’s kids’ job to learn about the world, and it’s your job as a parent to teach them about it.