> If you've been with someone for a year, you know how bad your worst fight was. Chances are though, whatever it was is a sampling from a distribution that you've only sampled a small amount of.
But you also need to sample across different partners. How many partners do you need to sample to evaluate whether the fights you have are on the better or worse end? Then there's only so much time in life. Also you change and get more mature. I don't think I learned that much from the relationship I had at 19 than at 25 and again at 30. Choosing one partner for life, while not impossible, is pretty flawed because you never know how both of you will change over the next 10 years. Plus the general problem with us humans that we're just never content with anything for extended periods of time. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. By that logic, don't even start a relationship ever. Stay single, so you don't have any responsibilities. Slightly dissatisfied with your current job? Put in your two weeks notice and see where life takes you. Shouldn't be to hard to eventually get another job in tech. Moving shouldn't be an issue at all. Unemployed for a year? No problem, you got plenty of savings, since there is no nonsense like college funds for any kifds going on in life. Only that eventually you might wonder if your life might be incomplete without having raised your own kids... That green grass stuff again...
Choosing one partner for life, while not impossible, is pretty flawed because you never know how both of you will change over the next 10 years.
The one thing you can be certain of is you and your partner will change. Perhaps the solution is to develop some tolerance to that change if you want a long relationship.
But you also need to sample across different partners. How many partners do you need to sample to evaluate whether the fights you have are on the better or worse end? Then there's only so much time in life. Also you change and get more mature. I don't think I learned that much from the relationship I had at 19 than at 25 and again at 30. Choosing one partner for life, while not impossible, is pretty flawed because you never know how both of you will change over the next 10 years. Plus the general problem with us humans that we're just never content with anything for extended periods of time. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. By that logic, don't even start a relationship ever. Stay single, so you don't have any responsibilities. Slightly dissatisfied with your current job? Put in your two weeks notice and see where life takes you. Shouldn't be to hard to eventually get another job in tech. Moving shouldn't be an issue at all. Unemployed for a year? No problem, you got plenty of savings, since there is no nonsense like college funds for any kifds going on in life. Only that eventually you might wonder if your life might be incomplete without having raised your own kids... That green grass stuff again...