I wonder if lack of spontaneity is part of the blame. It seems to me that there is too much structured time for kids. Particularly in suburbia. When I lived in a suburb I rarely saw kids out playing in a park without an adult hovering over them. Never saw kids playing in the street or wandering the neighborhood.

> Particularly in suburbia. When I lived in a suburb I rarely saw kids out playing in a park without an adult hovering over them.

A significant part of this, I think, is a design failure instead of a parenting one. Suburbs are bad at almost everything they do, except creating neighborhoods with big houses, grassy yards, and decent schools. In particular, they're poison for both children's play and parents' peace of mind.

As for kids - empty lawns, identical houses, and artificial boundaries don't support energy or imagination. There's nothing to look at, nowhere to go, and not much to do. when I was a kid the only suburban house where we played outside was one where the neighbors had given permission for us to play games across 3+ yards. Meanwhile at more rural houses, there were trees to climb, places to hide, and forests to explore. And in mixed density condos and apartments, there were sidewalks along the roads, shops to look into, town parks with soccer fields to play on.

As for parents - suburbs are honestly one of the worse environments I can think of to turn kids loose into, after serious wilderness and dense cities. Many suburbs have no sidewalks and most have wide roads with long distances to travel and lots of vision-hiding curves; perfect conditions for kids to get hit by cars, whether they're walking, biking, or playing street games. There are enough people and cars around to worry about someone with ill-intent, unlike a rural setting, but not enough to trust in bystanders or authority figures like an urban or mixed-density setting. There are neighbors to get mad at your kids, but if you want someone watching them it falls entirely on you. And there's so little to do that it raises fears of vandalism, bullying, or any other badness you might get from idle hands. For a younger kid, the sheer uniformity of suburbs can raise questions about finding their way home.

There are almost no redeeming features to suburbs, but I regularly hear "at least it's a good place to raise a family". I don't think it's true; suburbs are superficially clean and inviting, but they lack the stuff that makes unstructured life healthy and inviting for kids.

I think the question needs to be "how universal is the suburban space"? I've lived in multiple suburban areas, and the kid fun spaces were always the wild spaces at the edges of the suburban areas. If the houses are interspersed with somewhat-wild spaces, it works okay. If it's 100% homes, that's the curse.

This is an amazing comment. As someone who grew up in a very rural part of America (the nearest other house was about a mile away), I didn't realize until later in life, when I moved into a suburb, how much kids are missing by not having "unstructured" play spaces.

We live in an urban environment, with one teenager in high school and another starting high school in the fall. Both walk to school.

There are a lot of restaurants and coffee shops and such around, so there are a lot of opportunities to walk somewhere with friends after school and hang out, or walk to someone's house and hang out or play music or something.

We also have a community pool and basketball courts where they could walk and be with friends when they were younger, especially during the summer.

I think that could be much harder in suburban environments, where it's almost impossible to get from point A to point B without a parent driving.

I would say many things are more structured nowadays. And maybe it's normal, since we are exposed to more information and a more "complex" world. This can definitely be an issue, yes. But your comment also reminded me from a talk I attended to a few years ago at a community center where they discussed how it seems like streets nowadays don't play the role of "public spaces" anymore. Now they are spaces for transit. This might hint at a bigger problem, but to me it explains this change of mentality. Today we see a kid on the street without supervision, and we often think "where are his parents?", instead of "he's just playing around". And it's kind of a vicious circle in social perception. If there are no kids around on the streets, I'm less likely to let my own kids wander outside in a "uncontrolled" environment.

When a child does that it is called daydreaming. And that is terrifyingly freakish to some parents.

... And teachers.