Talking is one of many forms of processing. I've had similar experiences while drafting an e-mail outlining the problem and everything I've tried to fix it. Hundreds of such e-mails have never been sent because in the process of writing things out, I realize a new attempt.
I have a coworker who processes everything externally. He even reads e-mail out loud to himself. He doesn't gain the same...clarity...that people are talking about in this thread.
So I really think it's a question of walking yourself through everything you know about the problem and everything you've tried. Regardless of whether it's verbal or not.
I have an agreement with my thesis advisor in which I will send him many emails as I think through an issue, and he doesn't have to read them carefully (or at all). I will clearly mark the parts that he needs to answer (like the time of the next meeting or other silly things), and if I do need an answer to a question I might send an email just with it.
Then, when it is time for us to meet, all that writing has helped the ideas solidify in my head enough for it to be very easy to explain to him what I'm trying to doand how, and then his comments can be very useful. Before we arranged this I'd block for days without managing to think some detail through, but now I just start writing him an email about the issue and by the end of the email I usually have an idea as to how can I solve it.
I have a coworker who processes everything externally. He even reads e-mail out loud to himself. He doesn't gain the same...clarity...that people are talking about in this thread.
So I really think it's a question of walking yourself through everything you know about the problem and everything you've tried. Regardless of whether it's verbal or not.