In my youth I experimented with hallucinogenic drugs. Having shared hallucinations are very easy. It often just requires that someone give you an idea of a hallucination, or someone tells you what they see, and your brain will make you see it as well.
Maybe people know these things make you see small people, and then they are primed to do so.
My dream is to be able to run again. Please. Let me run a 10k at least once more in my life. To feel that stillness and freedom and calm that sets in when the brain start going to hibernation after about 7km.
I broke my ankle nearly two years ago. I've had three surgeries already and will be getting a total ankle replacement in about a month. Even with that, I will never run again.
Sometimes in a dream, I'll start running. I'll notice how magically effortless it feels. How wonderful to be able to run again. Then a little voice in the back of my head reminds me that this can't be real. It wakes me up every time.
It was a rough day when I opened Strava to log one of my physical therapy walks and realized that if I scroll down a bit, I can find a record of the longest run I will ever do.
I'm mostly at peace with it now. I'm grateful that at least I was into running for a while before I lost it, so at least I don't regret never having done it. And I never really enjoyed it then anyway. I just did it for health reasons and the sense of accomplishment.
I'm sorry for your suffering. I know what this longing feels like.
It really sucks when you break something and realise it might not ever go back to how it was before you break it (whether in how it feels or functions). I always had broken bones in my head as this thing that heal after a couple months and you're back to 100% :/ (also broke my ankle)
I was trying to be healthier, so I started biking to work. I was worried about safety, so I only felt comfortable doing this because my commute was 90% on bike paths.
Then I slipped on a puddle and landed really wrong on my left ankle. :(
I don't know if I stuck my foot out and foot planted or the bike landed on it or what, but the end result was a tri-malleolar fracture with dislocation. Basically I tried to twist my foot off and broken the tips off my tibia and fibula in the process. I had a bunch of other complications after that: severe fracture blisters, nerve block rebound pain, infection, problems with wound healing, and then finally the cartilage crapped out and I got post-traumatic osteoarthritis.
> I always had broken bones in my head as this thing that heal after a couple months and you're back to 100% :/ (also broke my ankle)
Me too! This was my first broken bone. I thought I'd just go to the hospital, they'd patch me up, and I'd go on with my life. But then every appointment with the surgeon, the prognosis got worse and worse.
With the replacement, if everything goes well, then I should at least be able to walk, and hike, and dance without pain. But nothing high impact or putting a lot of torque on the ankle. No running, no intense sports. The door to that part of my life has closed.
Man, that bull** :'(. I had a Bimal syndesmosis, so not as bad as you (and many fewer complications..) - I was riding an electric unicycle off-road on MTB trails, which sounds a lot dumber than what you were doing XD. Even so, it still bothers me over a year later.
I feel like it's worse with an ankle because if you don't break it they basically don't get arthritis, unlike a knee or hip; so you've lost more when you get ankle PTOA :'(.
I hope your TAR serves you well - they definitely sound like they've been getting better, so hopefully you get a good long while out of it.
Coincidentally, right around a same time, a friend of mine wiped out on his OneWheel and had a compound ankle fracture with dislocation. I don't recall how many malleoluses he broke, but it was pretty gnarly. But he's been healing well and it seems like his cartilage might survive OK. I'm happy for him but also envious.
> I feel like it's worse with an ankle because if you don't break it they basically don't get arthritis
It's crazy how well an ankle performs when you think about it. It is so much smaller than your hip or knee, and it takes even more impact force than those joints do when you run, and often while at weird angles. It's a miracle they work at all.
> they definitely sound like they've been getting better,
That's what I hear. If this had happened a decade ago, I'd probably getting a fusion now. Good luck on your recovery too.
Hope you see your dream realized. But know that that stillness is achievable through other activities as well. Most directly and deeply, through a meditation practice which is geared towards reaching those deep meditation states (called Jhanas in the Pali canon). My favorite guide on that particular path is Leigh Brasington.
Check the ElliptiGo. It gives you a similar feeling without the impact on the knees or hip. I know someone who was an avid long life runner. He substituted running for using the ElliptiGo for years and seemed very happy with it. Surprisingly, he was able to run again. I also have the ElliptiGo, but I don't have knee problems, I started using it because at one time I was having neck pain and couldn't run, bike or swim.
Hard to describe. It is fun, like running on something soft. Whenever I am lazy and stop riding mine for a few months and I get back I am baffled on why I stopped.
I'm in a similar situation. In my case, I can't walk pain-free anymore with or without insoles. Operations are possible but again, not a good solution, just lots of metallic rods in affected areas, weeks to months of heeling, no work, not a permanent fix, more like getting a root canal, and getting a crown. I'm hopeful something meaningful, affordable comes out of all the research is being done.
Certainly one of the few podcasts that I've stuck with. I think I started about 15+ years ago, and I know it was running for a while before that. Can't say every episode is great (not a fan of the live shows) or every segment is great (what's that noisy), but you can't beat it for it's consistency and general interest.
I am on GLP-1 (very low dose), and I’ve found that it seems to help me moderate my alcohol consumption as well. Maybe some thing like that could also be contributing to the effect.
I hypothesize that the appetite-suppressing effect of GLP-1 agonists contributes to the normalization of dopamine signaling in the brain. By mitigating the exaggerated dopamine fluctuations seen in food and sugar addiction, GLP-1 may promote a return to dopamine homeostasis, thereby reducing compulsive or addiction-like reward-seeking behaviors.
Same here. There's less wanting it but also, if I do indulge even one small glass of wine, the side effects are awful: broken sleep, acid reflux and a hangover the next day. It really slaps you in the face for indulging
Harsher side-effects to drinking sounds like an effective deterrent (although you'd think people would quit after that one hangover they'll never forget). Works for me with candy, a lot of it gives me tooth pain. My teeth are otherwise healthy, no cavities or anything.
They have a lot of anecdotal, observational, and emerging RCT evidence on their effects on substance consumption and abuse.
The biggest effect and best tested is on alcohol use disorder. Mechanistically we don't know if it's through some complex reward mechanism, or something simpler like "alcohol is a calorie and you consume fewer calories." The JAMA study showed that GLP-1 reduce Heavy Drinking Days (>2 drinks/day), but did not reduce overall drinking days. This would imply the simple mechanism -> it's hard to drink a lot of calories even if you do enjoy a drink.
More anecdotal evidence showing this effect in opiates, but nothing in an RCT yet.
So far, nothing has worked in stimulants. Cocaine and Meth abuse are insanely difficult to manage therapeutically right now.
I’m about to go to the cinema so I can’t find you references, but there’s a lot of anecdotal evidence at least of glp1’s curbing all sorts of addictive behaviour. I personally started Mounjaro last week and my coffee cravings have gone way, way down for the first time in my adult life.
I believe there is, I don't recall the source but have read that these drugs work by reducing cravings. So they have shown at least hints that they can work on any addictive behavior, not just overeating.
I diet, on and off. Keeping fat free weight as the highest priority (I don’t want to loose hard earned muscle)!
I’ve tried all types of diets. For me, the most important for me is to save the biggest meal for late in the day. I can easily go hungry a couple of hours during the day if I know there is a filling meal coming.
The reality is that European solidarity is not ironclad either. Is the US, or Germany, or Sweden more likely to fold and deactivate* weapon systems under nuclear blackmail?
It sounds hypothetical but seriously, what would Gripen do if tactical nukes were dropped on Estonia and Putin threatened the same on Sweden if they didn't back off? I don't know, and you don't either.
*I've not seen credible accusations this is possible, but assuming it is
Those "promises" were meaningless BS. Every European should know that the EU cannot make such promises, because it has no power in those matters. Defense policy is up to the member states, while investments and energy purchases are mostly made by private entities.
The fact that you think that's a big number just underscores how dire Europe's security situation is at the moment. One hundred billion Euros sounds like a lot, but China spends two and a half times that much on defense every single year, the U.S. spends 10X that much every single year, and even the Russians spend more than that every single year. Nevermind the fact Europe needs to play catch up here, not just keep pace.
Wikipedia says Russia spent 100 billion in 2023, so increase of 100 billion should be more than that don't you think? Are you misinformed or deliberately lying?
You have to adjust figures for PPP, or Purchasing Power Parity, due to exchange rate differences. In 2024, Russia's PPP adjusted military spend was somewhere between $300B and $400B [1][2]. Their technology is also vastly superior to Germany's and they have a much larger personnel. It doesn't matter how much you spend if you don't get your money's worth.
Maybe people know these things make you see small people, and then they are primed to do so.