This is a very sensitive issue, but frankly men will always try to hit on women. However, right now this is completely ignored. It looks like everyone is trying to sweep this under the carpet and hopes this way, sexism in tech will go away. It won't.
A major reason for that is, because right now, men are only told what is NOT okay, without telling them what IS okay. This makes a lot of men behave very strangely in towards women. Firstly, because they don't want to appear sexist for the woman's sake and secondly, because they don't want to be accused of sexual harassment. Women feel this and for that reason feel unwelcome in tech. It seems like no one tries to reference any gender study researxh even though this is such a huge problem in tech and is holding up our industry.
A way to solve this, would be starting to create an open culture about how men and women can work together in tech, NOT leaving out the whole dating aspect.
A first step into this direction would be to clarify what IS okay and not only what is NOT okay.
For instance, telling a woman she is gorgeous without asking for anything in return is okay. Then the woman can make up her mind if she is interested or not. This is how it works and it will happen anHowever, basing a business transaction on sexual favours is not tolerated.
This has to be more specific of course, however, the only guideline being "inappropriate behaviour won't be tolerated" is just not enough to solve sexism in tech and to get more women into tech.
This issue I would have, if I weren't married and didn't have to worry about this, is that if you talk to enough women about "what is ok" you come to learn that nothing is. Talking to or interacting with a woman in any way, as a man, is not acceptable unless that interaction is wanted by the woman. And there's no way to know whether it is wanted since you can't read minds. Many women claim that they should have the right to be left alone and not talked to, even if someone is attempting to do it 100% out of friendliness because the woman has no way of knowing he's only being friendly.
This is a very sensitive issue, but frankly men will
always try to hit on women.
I don't usually take part in these conversations because I don't think I have much to add. However, a comment like this doesn't do anything constructive. The problem here wasn't even "men hitting on women". The problem is men hitting on women in an inappropriate context.
To your credit you go on to touch on this a little by sort of obliquely asking the question "what contexts would be okay?" But you completely ignore the truly easy first step. Which would be: Don't assume you know what contexts are okay until you've gotten to know the other person a little better than a few drinks and a couple conversations.
There is no "framework" for this other than taking the time to learn about the other person before you make any kind of move in the romantic/sexual arena.
Let's take your example:
telling a woman she is gorgeous without asking for
anything in return is okay.
How do you know that is okay? You actually can't. Not until you've gotten to know them first. You can't be sensitive to what how another person will feel about a comment like that without gathering some background information first.
Your whole proposal starts with a flawed assumption that there is such a thing as a one size fits all framework for men and women to work together and date.
High school isn't much about learning all the different subjects, it's much more about learning how to behave with people aka social skill. The author should put his daughter back into high school again in order not to have a socially incompetent daughter when she's older.
My fear -- and the fear of our immediate family -- at the beginning of homeschooling was that the kids would suffer socially. What we've discovered in the 1.5 years since starting is that the opposite has happened.
Here in Colorado, homeschooling has been on the rise so finding other homeschooling families is relatively easy. Local groups meet on a regular basis: the kids socialize with other kids, the parents cross-pollenate with other parents.
My kids have more friends now than when they were in conventional school (both charter and "regular" public schools), and they were hardly loners then. They also get to socialize more with their friends since they have dedicated time for that, instead of during hurried lunchtimes and between classes. And yes, annoying kids are also homeschooled so my children still have to learn and refine those social coping skills during the get-togethers.
I realize that there is a wide variation in homeschooling experiences, but don't believe the myth about a lack of socialization: if it is important to the parents, it can be easily dealt with.
An additional note regarding the OP itself and the author removing his daughter from conventional school simply to learn web development: I'm not convinced it was the right idea. His comment about his child being "stuck wasting her time in high school taking yet another history class" rubs me the wrong way for the same reason it does many other commenters here on HN; at that age, being exposed to different things is not only good but necessary to build critical thinking skills and broaden horizons. While it is possible that the author had other reasons to homeschool his daughter than simply to immerse her into the world of software development, he doesn't do a good job of detailing them.
Don't fool yourself into believing it is the same as public school. I was homeschooled until 9th grade and during that time we were always actively engaged with other homeschooling families. Still, there is no substitute for being around your peers 40 hours a week. Which is good and a bad thing.
Going into public school was a big shock for me and even more so for my brother who only went to public school senior year of high school. It took both of us years to catch up in social skills. Be aware you are making a tradeoff, whether you think so or not.
Be aware you are making a tradeoff, whether you think so or not.
Oh, we're keenly aware that there's a trade-off. Both my wife & I went through the public school system, and until the last few years considered homeschooling to be "weird".
We're also keenly aware that there's nothing to be gained from forced exposure to apathetic/incompetent "teachers" (more like classroom managers than mentors or instructors) and the occasional junior sociopath. Being bored, unchallenged and unhappy with a group of other bored, unchallenged and unhappy kids results in no additional intellectual or emotional payoff after a couple of days.
Middle school -- where my children are currently, age-wise and academically -- and high school are not the same social experience as elementary school. Yes, there's plenty of socialization....but generally not the kind of socialization that many consider pleasant. And there appears to be far less actual learning taking place now than when I went to public school a quarter-century ago; instruction has been largely replaced with standardized test-taking and the preparation for those specific tests.
Homeschooling, like public schooling, is not a one-size-fits-all endeavor. However, I know my children and have observed their behavior when dealing with not only their peers, but adults and younger children. Socialization isn't my top concern at this point: ensuring that they have a solid foundation in language, math, science and critical-thinking skills is.
1. There are data entry tasks, writing descriptions for online shops, filling out surveys etc. We are looking for partners who have smaller tasks like this that they would like to see completed by our almost 70,000 users now.
2. It's targeted to people who are often on the road, where they have spare time that they want to use to make money. Students, freelancers, travelers come to mind.
3. Tasks vary between mini tasks of <$1 that can be done very quickly and tasks for $10+, which users see later once they have had several tasks approved by our clients, so that we know that they can complete work reliably.
Selling my privacy you mean ? I guess this will be your biggest source of revenues. People do not seem to mind to sell theirs for a few dimes. But not something I will do easily.
> writing descriptions for online shops
So this would be like 'Do you own one of these machines ?' and then I can pick one and write 'Best dishwasher ever !' to earn an easy dollar ? If so, this is getting morally offensive.
Filling out surveys = providing your opinion. Could be completely anonymous.
Writing descriptions for online shops = writing product descriptions for shops who add a lot of inventory but need human-written and unique descriptions.
A major reason for that is, because right now, men are only told what is NOT okay, without telling them what IS okay. This makes a lot of men behave very strangely in towards women. Firstly, because they don't want to appear sexist for the woman's sake and secondly, because they don't want to be accused of sexual harassment. Women feel this and for that reason feel unwelcome in tech. It seems like no one tries to reference any gender study researxh even though this is such a huge problem in tech and is holding up our industry.
A way to solve this, would be starting to create an open culture about how men and women can work together in tech, NOT leaving out the whole dating aspect.
A first step into this direction would be to clarify what IS okay and not only what is NOT okay.
For instance, telling a woman she is gorgeous without asking for anything in return is okay. Then the woman can make up her mind if she is interested or not. This is how it works and it will happen anHowever, basing a business transaction on sexual favours is not tolerated.
This has to be more specific of course, however, the only guideline being "inappropriate behaviour won't be tolerated" is just not enough to solve sexism in tech and to get more women into tech.